Thanks to my witty, and creative fellow designer Laurel Bern of New York, New York she has so appropriately put the nail in the coffin when it comes to what clients feel is a less expensive when buying furniture on-line.  Let me share with you Lauren’s view, and I’m sure most all other designers, including myself.  Here’s why buying furniture on-line is a BAD idea!  Hang on . . . this girl has a knack for writing from the gut.  Grab a glass of wine and enjoy the humor, and FACTS! 

********************************************

Dear Laurel,

How are you doing? Not sure why I’m writing you except just to warn someone out there about this company on the internet.

Here’s what happened. My old hag wife ran off with our son’s karate instructor. (they deserve each other) She took custody of the brat. Fine, she can have him. She also took the house, so I needed to move. I found a sublet in the east village. It’s a five-floor walk up. That’s five minutes less time at the gym and it’s only a ten minute walk to the office, door-to-door.

I needed to fix up the place, of course. I thought that buying furniture online was the way to go. So, I had my secretary scout out some hunky man-type stuff. I told her to do research for the lowest prices. She found this company called National Furniture Supply. They are offering deep discounts for some very high-end furniture online so I gave her the go ahead.

This is the sofa.

This is the  desk with storage.

And then, she picked out this rug. I like blue.

Everything else I picked up at Crate and Barrel. I should’ve gotten everything there!

I won’t bore you with what I went through for SIX months only to find out that they couldn’t get the furniture upstairs. No way. Not a chance.

Or, the fact that FREE SHIPPING set me back $1,927.45

Why? Because I had to pay warehousing fees to the tune of $75.00/day (they called while I was in Maui for two weeks with my girlfriend) Then, I didn’t realize that FREE SHIPPING meant they were going to leave two huge pieces of furniture at the curb and that ***I*** would be required to take it off of the truck. So, I opted for the “white glove” FREE SHIPPING, only to discover that I had to pay “OVERWEIGHT” fees and stair fees on top of a whopping FREE SHIPPING charge.

But then they couldn’t get the f*kin crap (excuse my french) up the stairs. They sent two midgets to bring up 550 lbs of furniture. In any case it was all too tight. 

So I had to send it all back (except for the rug which I do like) and pay for the FREE SHIPPING back to them.

But here’s the kicker. I also had to pay a RESTOCKING FEE. What the hay? 25%!! That set me back— are you ready, Laurel?

$4,715.00!

+ the free shipping charge of 1,927.45.

Yes, that’s what 25% is from the deeply “discounted” price $18,860 that I shelled out for two pieces of crap over-scale furniture. Clearly, I’m out of mind.

Please be kind. I know I’m an idiot. I forgot that my secretary has dyslexia and mixes up high and low. But she’s blond and busty so she stays. (sorry, if that’s TMI)

Those bastards have my credit card number. They said that they don’t save the number but apparently amongst all of their other lies and misleadings, they do save it because they sure as hell fire ran the charge of $6,642.45 through. And I have nothing except for a lot of aggravation to show for it!

Naturally, I was hopping mad and disputed it with my CC company and lost. They said that it was clearly spelled in their terms and conditions. But nobody reads that shit, right?

Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

 

Thanks to my witty, and creative fellow designer Laurel Bern of New York, New York she has so appropriately put the nail in the coffin when it comes to what clients feel is a less expensive when buying furniture on-line.  Let me share with you Lauren’s view, and I’m sure most all other designers, including myself.  Here’s why buying furniture on-line is a BAD idea!  Hang on . . . this girl has a knack for writing from the gut.  Grab a glass of wine and enjoy the humor, and FACTS! 

************************************

Dear Laurel,

How are you doing? Not sure why I’m writing you except just to warn someone out there about this company on the internet.

Here’s what happened. My old hag wife ran off with our son’s karate instructor. (they deserve each other) She took custody of the brat. Fine, she can have him. She also took the house, so I needed to move. I found a sublet in the east village. It’s a five-floor walk up. That’s five minutes less time at the gym and it’s only a ten minute walk to the office, door-to-door.

I needed to fix up the place, of course. I thought that buying furniture online was the way to go. So, I had my secretary scout out some hunky man-type stuff. I told her to do research for the lowest prices. She found this company called National Furniture Supply. They are offering deep discounts for some very high-end furniture online so I gave her the go ahead.

This is the sofa.

 

This is the  desk with storage.

And then, she picked out this rug. I like blue.

Everything else I picked up at Crate and Barrel. I should’ve gotten everything there!

I won’t bore you with what I went through for SIX months only to find out that they couldn’t get the furniture upstairs. No way. Not a chance.

Or, the fact that FREE SHIPPING set me back $1,927.45

Why? Because I had to pay warehousing fees to the tune of $75.00/day (they called while I was in Maui for two weeks with my girlfriend) Then, I didn’t realize that FREE SHIPPING meant they were going to leave two huge pieces of furniture at the curb and that ***I*** would be required to take it off of the truck. So, I opted for the “white glove” FREE SHIPPING, only to discover that I had to pay “OVERWEIGHT” fees and stair fees on top of a whopping FREE SHIPPING charge.

But then they couldn’t get the f*kin crap (excuse my french) up the stairs. They sent two midgets to bring up 550 lbs of furniture. In any case it was all too tight. 

So I had to send it all back (except for the rug which I do like) and pay for the FREE SHIPPING back to them.

But here’s the kicker. I also had to pay a RESTOCKING FEE. What the hay? 25%!! That set me back— are you ready, Laurel?

$4,715.00!

+ the free shipping charge of 1,927.45.

Yes, that’s what 25% is from the deeply “discounted” price $18,860 that I shelled out for two pieces of crap over-scale furniture. Clearly, I’m out of mind.

Please be kind. I know I’m an idiot. I forgot that my secretary has dyslexia and mixes up high and low. But she’s blond and busty so she stays. (sorry, if that’s TMI)

Those bastards have my credit card number. They said that they don’t save the number but apparently amongst all of their other lies and misleadings, they do save it because they sure as hell fire ran the charge of $6,642.45 through. And I have nothing except for a lot of aggravation to show for it!

Naturally, I was hopping mad and disputed it with my CC company and lost. They said that it was clearly spelled in their terms and conditions. But nobody reads that shit, right?

Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

Ira Joe Sukerstein

*********

Whew! That’s quite a story folks, isn’t it?

To be clear, as in all of my Dear Laurel stories, there is no actual Joe Sukerstein.

He’s an amalgam of thousands of Joes who don’t realize that the internet is a man-eating shark; he thinks it’s a cute little gold-fish. Never mind that the gold-fish is going to be dead in two days. (still traumatized some 50 years later over that tragic event.)

I was curious. Those are some hefty numbers for that stuff! Joe didn’t tell me where the furniture is from. But that’s alright. I know how to find the source of furniture online which works like a charm 99.9% of the time.

I will be teaching you exactly how I find furniture on the internet when I don’t know the vendor in a bonus chapter in Laurel’s Rolodex.  It’s coming to you on the 26th and the entire thing is wild beyond even my own imaginings!

But back to this quagmire.

I very easily found the vendor of the sofa and desk which is that furniture ho, Zentique. Below is a photo from their spot at the New York Now show last February.

Make no mistake, I really like Zentique– or, used to before they sold out to anyone who would have them.  I’ve bought several items for clients and MYSELF over the years. However, their hefty price tag is ludicrous considering one of its resellers is STAPLES. High end furniture is not exactly the term I think of when I think of Staples. No?

Please hang on, this is going to be quite a ride.

Let’s begin with our sofa.

The Alix Sofa, from Zentique. I would send you to their website but it’s trade only. God forbid someone would actually try to copy this thing.

Once I found it, I found this sofa online with many vendors.

Here’s the front (I guess)

. . . and the back

Quite frankly, you couldn’t give me that atrocity for free. Zen has some lovely furniture, but this is one of the most God-forsaken behemothic monsters I’ve ever seen. Is that supposed to be tufting?

Let’s talk price.

I have a wholesale account with Zentique.  Sweet. It’s one of dozens of “designer friendly” resources on Laurel’s Rolodex where us lowly decorators can purchase furniture at wholesale. Therefore, I know how much Zentique is charging and I know what the retail price should be.

Here is a screenshot of NFS’s sale’s page for the Alix sofa. (I checked their terms and conditions and by violating their “copyright” I can be refused membership. Okay, I’ll take a chance.) ;]

Let’s look at the low-ball price from Wayfair of $3,600.

NFS says that the list price is: $10,056.00.

Wayfair says that the list price is: $6,987.50.

Will The Real List Price Please Stand Up

We will address “FREE SHIPPING” in a sec. :]

Actually, Wayfair’s sale price is very good. A little too good. My price for this sofa would be $4,190 plus shipping/handling AND DELIVERY.

But before you get all riled up and think that everything on Wayfair is such a great deal. It’s not. However, they never do what National Furniture Suppuration is doing as far as I can tell.

Let’s move on to the next piece because this one is even more interesting.

It’s also from Zentique

The Mog Cabinet and desk.

What in fart’s name is a “mog”?

Here’s a closeup shot showing off the fine detailing of the Mog Cabinet

Bactine, anyone?

Below are the online vendors and Amazon is one as well, but I’m trying to not mog you down (sorry) :]  too much.

Amazon and Wayfair again are the low ball numbers.

Below is NFS sale’s page for the Mog Cabinet

$10,480,00???

for that POS thing?

Has everyone completely lost their barking brains?

Here is what NFS says on their website under their FAQs:

Do you offer the lowest prices?

Our supplier network is among the largest furniture supplier network in North America. Their buying power gets them the lowest prices from furniture manufacturers – and allows National Furniture Supply to pass the savings onto you.

That’s brown for a reason.

Thanks again to Laurel for putting together the facts that so many consumers overlook.